Ladies, Don't You Think You Should Make the First Step?

These days, the news cycle is dominated by story lines that are particularly depressing. Almost every evening, I have to brace myself and already anticipate hearing about death tolls. On TV, scores of analysts and experts do their best to lay out context, but I still can’t understand what drives men to commit such heinous acts.

Naturally, I was very tempted to share my thoughts on acts of terror, but I changed my mind because I am aware that many people come here to balance out a daily life that can tends to be morose. Instead of bothering you with yet another post on Donald Trump (the unofficial president of the KKK), I have chosen to tell you about my friend Lina (real name withheld of course) who lives in London.

Lina is blessed: she is pretty, she has a degree in accounting and has a well-paying job. On the surface of things, Lina has all it takes to be happy. Unfortunately, in her life, there is a great void that she’s been unable to fill. Lina has been single for many years. As she nears her forties, she wants to get married and start a family as soon as possible.

Lina is a woman who knows exactly what she is looking for in a man: she has particular and well-defined tastes and is not willing to compromise. Basically, she is very selective in her choices. So I was pleasantly surprised when she told me that there was a guy in the Tube who had gotten her attention. Since they work in the same area, they meet each other every day on the London Underground.

Lina doesn’t yet know his name because she’s not had the courage to approach him. All she knows is that he’s not married because he doesn’t bear a wedding ring or the mark of it on his ring finger. While time on the metro are a necessary ordeal for some, for Lina, it’s the perfect opportunity to gaze at the guy who makes her heart flutter.

Every day, I tell Lina to take the leap and go talk to Mr. All-Kinds-Of-Right, but she keeps retorting that it is men who must make the first step. What she said was valid in the Middle Ages. In 2019, women no longer have a choice: they must be more enterprising.

My argument is based on the premise that there are more women than men on Earth. And since polygamy is prohibited in the West, many women will not be able to enjoy marriage. Those who are not aggressive enough will be left wanting and have to settle for the role of mistress. I know that some of you might have sneered as you read the above, but don’t blame me. I had nothing to do with it. These are facts. Don’t dispute facts.

We’ve already gone shopping during sales, right? What happens then? It’s simple: in order to nab discounts on items they’ve been coveting, people line up long before the stores open. As soon as the doors open, the most hardier customers snatch the better items. The meek ones (or those who came late) are always rueful because they cannot get the model, colour or size they want.

The same happens in love. Those who are assertive get the best specimens. Those who are less so must then settle for the leftovers. Ladies, if you want the best, you know what you have to do. Do not wait for the man to take the first step, run towards him. No need to pay me. This is my gift to you!

Every day, I give this advice to Lina, but she won’t listen to me. She tells me that she can’t take the first step because she’s shy. I suggest then that she checks dating sites. There again, it’s a no. I don’t understand. In 2019, we do everything online, so why not look for love on the Internet? Where’s the harm?

What about you? What do you think about it? Should women become more assertive? Should they remain expectant? I look forward to reading from you.

P.S.: Before undiscerning feminists unleash their vitriol on me, I want to make it clear that the advice I have given is only for women who are looking for a soulmate. I know that having a husband is not an achievement and I am aware that a woman does not need a man to be fulfilled.

Editor’s Note:
The original opinion piece can be found on ‘Un lion parmi les hommes

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Hopiho

As a kid, I wanted to become a superhero. That didn't work out. I settled to become a doctor. That didn't work out. I settled to become a football star. That didn't work out. So now you have to settle for a dope blogger and rapper.