On Football, Its Abundance of Black Players and Paucity of Black Coaches

When Rwanda decided to increase import tariffs for second-hand clothes (twelvefold!) and second-hand footwear (tenfold!), I was clapped profusely. Did you know that East Africa accounts for an eighth of the global import market for worn and used clothing? By increasing import duties, Rwandan President Paul Kagame hopes to strengthen the textile industry in his country.

When I learned that Clarence Seedorf and Patrick Kluivert had been appointed as coaches of the Cameroon national football team, I was elated! Granted, I wasn’t completely overjoyed: I believe the Indomitable Lions should be led by a Cameroonian. Still I was very happy. Why was I so delighted to see two Dutchmen take over the reins of the Cameroon national team? Because they are Black.

Let’s not get carried away with the French Football Team’s triumph at the recently concluded World Cup. Blacks are constantly marginalised in football in Europe. There are very few Black coaches and Black referees are almost non-existent in the major European leagues. Is there a conspiracy or collusion towards Blacks in football? I do not know, but that would not surprise me. It may seem absurd, but the scandal of discriminatory quotas in French Football has shown me that reality can often be beyond our imagination.

When the scandal broke out in 2011, I was skeptical. Laurent Blanc cannot be racist? IMPOSSSIBLE! He played in France 1998, the symbol of diversity. When the recordings came out, I was speechless. The whole story was nipped in the bud quickly. Laurent Blanc came out unscathed: he kept his position, while Mohamed Belkacemi, the mole who had the nerve to denounce racism in the French Football Federation, was swiftly ostracized.

I digress. Back to our lions! In Cameroon, we are always used to hiring “White wizards”. When Jean-Paul Akono led the Indomitable Lions to gold at the Sydney Olympics, I thought the victory would finally allow my brothers to cast their nets on our shores. Alas! Sadly, my compatriots keep giving in to a baffling inferiority complex and remain convinced that our national team’s glory is assured with a foreign coach. Too bad! By hiring two Surinamese coaches, we’ve yet to change course, nevertheless, we’ve taken strides in the right direction. We are finally offering two Black coaches the opportunity to show what they are capable of.

Before I go on ranting, let me stress that I’m not against White coaches. This is above all a rebuke to the many African football federations that persist in recruiting second-rate European coaches. If we’re going after White wizards, why not recruit a Mourinho or a Guardiola? If they are too expensive, then why not trust local coaches? Why are we still hiring European coaches who have no track record and whose careers as players are nothing to write about?

Africa is not the landfill for the rest of the World; it might be time to implement the concept of selective immigration in Africa. If the Europeans want to bring their talents over, then we’ll take the sharp minds. We do not want the dimwits anymore.

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Hopiho

As a kid, I wanted to become a superhero. That didn't work out. I settled to become a doctor. That didn't work out. I settled to become a football star. That didn't work out. So now you have to settle for a dope blogger and rapper.